


Heart On Fire

by unrealistic_expectations



Category: One Direction (Band)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-04-12
Packaged: 2017-12-03 19:33:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/701856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unrealistic_expectations/pseuds/unrealistic_expectations
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam sighed probably for the umpteenth time that day. Yes, all of them like to cuddle. Hell, they are known to the world as being so very touchy-feely with one another. But that doesn’t stop him from feeling a little pang of jealousy whenever one of the lads decides to get a little “intimate” with his Zayn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

HEART ON FIRE

 

They’ve just completed an interview from a TV show and Liam is shaking his head. He’s exhausted and just wants to relax in his flat. But the lads had already planned out how they’re going to spend their night. They're currently hanging out at Louis and Harry's luxurious shared flat. 

Louis and Niall are busy mulling over which club they would go to. Harry's comfortably sitting on Zayn’s lap, left hand on Zayn’s quiff, fondling it absentmindedly; right hand’s fiddling with his phone, checking some messages. On the other hand, Zayn’s eyes are glued on some magazines, widespread on Harry’s lap, while waiting for the lads to come into harmony. He’s oblivious about a pair of eyes watching him intently.

Liam sighed probably for the umpteenth time that day. Yes, all of them like to cuddle. Hell, they are known to the world as being so very touchy-feely with one another. But that doesn’t stop him from feeling a little pang of jealousy whenever one of the lads decides to get a little “intimate” with his Zayn.

(His Zayn.)  
(His Liam.)  
(I’ve missed him saying that.)

He and Zayn’s closeness goes back a long way. It started even before their successful stint at X-Factor. They've met at Mc Donald's. From then on, they’re constantly seen with each other. Whenever one is in sight, the other’s not that far behind. Zayn has utterly opened up to Liam and Liam’s all but grateful for that. He’s kind of proud that he’s the only one that could get pass through Zayn’s hard-to-crack emotions. They were each other’s rocks. Zayn’s fond with the other lads as well, but only to him will Zayn pour his heart out and not in the tiniest bit ashamed or terrified that he will be judge by it. As Zayn would relentlessly tell him, he’s his Liam. And he’s his Zayn.

Only lately, the tables have turned somewhat. Harry had become Zayn’s cuddle buddy. They’re often seen with each other, playing video games, going to tattoo shop or just hang around each other's flats. Even if he wanted to be with Zayn, he just can’t. Coz Danielle is with him most of the time. Every spare time he has, he always spends it with Danielle. He never thought that as he was having the time of his life with his girlfriend by his side, his relationship with his best friend is slowly beginning to collapse. How many times have Zayn invited him out for a movie or to just chill out? He practically says no every fucking time. And Zayn just nods quietly yet the look of dejection is clearly visible on his face. Liam would comfort him by ruffling his hair (although Zayn has this mess-with-my-hair-and-I'll-make-you-regret-you-live-attitude, he really likes it when Liam's doing that) or snake an arm around his shoulder and playfully pinched his nose and then affectionately tell him they will do it some other time. But Danielle is making that impossible to happen. She wanted as much as possible time spends with his man whenever there’s a chance even if it’s just a fraction of a moment. So, with a resigned sigh, Liam just let it all flow with thoughts and a lot of hope in mind that Zayn would surely understand. Of course, he will. They’re best friends.

This scene of Harry cuddling with Zayn is but a natural sight and apparently wouldn’t bother Liam a bit. Their overly affection for each other is a well-known fact to the fans and their management. Harry being too attached with Zayn lately has its rational ground. Whilst Zayn is closest to Liam, Harry is buddy-buddy with Louis. Niall is all chummy with everybody being the good-natured lad that he is. Liam thought this day will be a good time for him and Zayn to do some catching up about each other’s interest of late. But, whenever Liam would draw close to Zayn, Harry is always first to cuddle with him. Not that it bothers Liam at all. He’s actually glad that Harry and Zayn had been enjoying each other’s company as the two lads were really not that particularly close during the early days when the group was formed. Which in their case was the total opposite since him and Zayn hit it off instantly they’ve laid eyes on each other.

“Stop it Harreh!” Zayn squealed in his thick Bradford accent as he was trying to dodge Harry’s tickling.

“No Malik. We had a deal that the loser will be tickled from head to toe. I won the game fair and square,” Harry says laughing while attempting to pin Zayn down on the couch.

Liam felt a lump in his throat as he was trying not to stare at the two boys on the couch but failed miserably. His gaze then was fixed on the tanned boy whose unrestrained laughter is driving him to a familiar edge. Then it hit him straightway. They used to do that stuff, him and Zayn. They used to spend all their free time fooling around with each other. Sometimes even go as far as pulling pranks with the other lads. He's the sensible one, but Zayn has this ability of drawing out the playful side of Liam. He missed this. He missed Zayn.

(Does he miss me like I miss him?)  
(Surely, he did.)  
(But, did he, really?)

"Oi, you two, keep it down, yeah? You're giving Li here a massive headache," Louis interjected.

Liam raise an eye brow at Louis then wondered if he's being subtle with his actions. But Louis decided not to pay him any mind and resumed discussions with Niall giving him a word or two about something. While Zayn and Harry continued to wrestle on the couch ignoring the barbed comment that was being thrown at them.

(Damn, he needs a drink like right now.)

“Have you decided on it yet? We could sure need a drink”, trying to sound casual, his eyes fell on his lap.

The boys all jerked up their heads in one synchronized motion, all brows arched, in Liam’s direction. Seeing the bewildered expression plastered on each of the boys' faces as if the world has stop. They couldn’t believe that they would be hearing this from none other than Liam, the Daddy Direction, and the coherent one. He’s usually the one to propose that they should just rest and take advantage of the peace and quiet their respective flats are offering.

“What?” Liam asked, a bit baffled by the reaction. He knew what was coming. If the lads are apprehensive about his unfamiliar behavior, Liam’s not taking any chances. He’s mentally preparing himself an excuse about his sudden longing for a night of fun and alcohol.

He’s taken aback and quite glad when none of the boys questioned his intention, dubious as it may sound.

“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally decided to have some fun?!” Louis said, evidently thrilled with Liam’s unexpected demand to go out but still gave an incredulous smile. 

Niall jump on his back and wrap his arms around Liam's torso nestling his chin on the latter's shoulder happy as a clam. Harry, who is now sprawled lazily on the floor, gave a satisfied yelp and fist-pump the air in delight.

Louis said that this moment's one for the books. Coz Liam hardly ever goes out with them. Liam was suddenly stricken with remorse and shame. Since he got the news that he has now two functioning kidneys, he still turn down any invites the lads were giving him. All Liam could do was look down and murmured a soft "sorry". He got a playful punch from Harry and Niall mumbled "idiot" in his ear. He really loved this lot, like a whole lot. 

Then there’s Zayn standing just a couple of meters from him. Liam can’t decipher what is going on in that pretty little head. He’s just staring at him dumbfounded. Then he sees the infamous smirk. He slowly approached Liam and gave him a hug then kisses him quickly on the cheek earning some cat calls from the boys. Liam felt his cheeks reddened.

(Oh hell. This is going to be a long night.)

They opted for a place not far from where they're staying at. It's supposed to be a private club where only celebrities and socialites are allowed in. This is a perfect set-up for the band since not one of them can deal anymore with overly persistent fans and the clamor that goes with it. Not that they don't appreciate the affection but they certainly need a break from this roller coaster of events once in a while.

When they got in the club, Louis and Niall went ahead at the bar ordering some drinks. Harry was seated beside Zayn and talking animatedly to him about something he just read from Twitter while Liam sat opposite them, phone in hand. The two continued to chat, occasionally asking Liam’s opinion about a particular video game that they find so addictive. Liam just nods nonchalantly, face stoic.

Zayn eyed him curiously.

'Alright there, mate?' Zayn asked, leaning onto him.

'Yeah, just tad tired.'

Just then, Louis and Niall returned with their drinks then settled on their seats. Harry immediately reach for his and Zayn's share. They drank a toast for each other. Everybody but Liam have started to loosen up. Liam sighs. Zayn's eyes still rested on him. Harry has been yanked by Louis on the dance floor while Niall's attention has been captured by a certain brunette.

'Do you want to go back at the flat, then?' Zayn pressed with a look of concern. 

As much as Liam wanted to say yes, he doesn't want to disappoint the lads. They do need an interruption like this once in a while. 

'Nah, I'm alright.' Liam retorted.

But Zayn knew better. He knew Liam better than anyone else knows him. He knew exactly when Liam is just putting up a front when he is actually not. With just a sigh, Zayn can verily see if Liam's feeling a bit under the weather or crestfallen. Liam's reply doesn't convince him at all. But he just let it go. Knowing Liam, the more you pry him for answers, the more he'll shut you out. But Zayn has his ways. He knew for a fact that Liam doesn't have the heart to give Zayn the cold shoulder whenever Zayn's making a sulky pout. But Zayn would just have to wait until they go back to their flats so as not to ruin the nights of their friends. 

Louis and Harry returned to their seats a bit exhausted from their stint on the dance floor. Harry put an arm around Zayn's shoulder and tugs him closer. "Missed you on the dance floor, mate. Dance with me later, yeah?"

Zayn just grinned and poke Harry's dimples. The two continued with the teasing and tries to head-lock one another. Liam stared at them green with envy.

'Hey Li, you alright there, mate?' Louis suddenly asked. 

 

➰➰➰➰➰

 

Louis had been observing Liam for quite a while and he's certain that something or make that someone is bothering the wits out of him. He's been phasing out since the ride from the flat. Louis thought Liam's probably just missing Dani. But he hasn't mentioned her name even once since this morning. And he seemed so happy yesterday when Dani phoned her.

So, what's with Liam lately? 

Louis knew about Zayn and Liam's close friendship. Hell, he feels sometimes that the closeness the two boys share is much more intense and passionate than that of him and Harry. It's like they have their own private little world. But every so often, the intensity of that closeness were far too much to handle that a lot of times, especially during interviews, they can't help themselves in showing their fondness for each other, the earnest gazes, the endearing strokes, kisses on the cheek and the over-the-top flatteries, these are the usual stuffs Liam and Zayn do when together. Louis thought if an outsider would be given a chance to observe a typical Liam and Zayn day, one would easily assume that they're in a relationship. Of course, he would know this considering the fact that he shared the same passionate friendship with Harry. But, as Louis observes, something is off with the way things are for Liam and Zayn lately. Sure, Eleanor would sometimes join them on their tour, but Harry doesn't mind it that much. El and Harry get along very well that every now and then Harry would tag along on their date. That never happens with Zayn and Danielle. They seem to have this unspoken antipathy towards each other. And Liam seemed keenly aware of this status quo that whenever Danielle pays him a visit, they would spend their whole day out and come back when everyone's asleep so as to avert the awkwardness. Louis would notice Zayn's forlorn look which probably what prompted Harry to take Zayn under his caring wings. Coz Zayn's like Harry. They both wear their hearts on their sleeves. But they can be impassive if they want to. So it's not surprising if Harry had found out that Zayn's kind of harboring a feeling for Liam. Zayn didn't actually tell Harry. 'It's too obvious not to see it' beams an excited Harry when he told Louis about it.   
But their excitement quickly went down the drain for they knew it's one-sided. And Harry has never been protective of Zayn after that realization. But Louis seemed hesitant in believing it's unrequited. He didn't mention this to Harry so as not to give false hope. Louis decided to test something that's been on his mind for some time now. 

 

Liam's been glowering at Zayn and Harry for a good amount of time. 

(I'm not jealous. Not at all. They're both my best friends.)  
(Fuck.)

(Okay, I can't do this.)  
(Need to get out of here.)

 

Liam was about to leave his table when Louis grabs Harry's shirt and literally drags the curly-haired lad on the dance floor. They bump onto Niall on their way there and the three lads happily grind with the music with no care in the world.

Zayn grins very amused at his three friends goofing on the dance floor. And as he was up and about to join in the fun, Liam, without much thinking and realizing his chance, grab Zayn's right hand and pull him outside the bar. Although disconcerted, Zayn allowed himself to be drag by his best friend who seems out of sync and out of himself since they arrived. 

'What's going on Li?' Zayn ask a quizzical expression on his face. 

'Uhm, n-nothing,' Liam said not being able to believe that he's stammering. 

(Oh for Christ's sake Liam Payne. He's your damn best friend. No need to feel nervous.)

'Really Payne? Don't even attempt it, you're quite horrible at lying. 

'I missed you' was Liam's sudden reply. 

Though it's barely a whisper, Zayn caught it well. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah', Liam said under his breath. 

'I missed you too.'

They stood there in silence eyes transfixed on each other. No one knew who made the first move, but arms were suddenly thrown, a tight embrace like they were holding onto dear life and then whispers of endearments took place. 

'I missed this. God Zayn, you've no idea.'

'I think I do Li'. 

'Then why?'

'Why what?

'I'm supposed to be your best friend.'

'Yes. So-'

'We're supposed to be the closest.'

'Ok-'

'So you're not supposed to be that close with Harry.'

'Uhm, Li, what-'

'Am I still your best friend Zayn?'

'Li-'

'I feel like you're drifting away.'

'Li, what the fuck are you talking about!'

Liam felt as though he's been pulled out from a trance. He was shocked that he actually voice out all those thoughts to Zayn. 

(Fuck.)  
(What the fuck did I just say?)

'Uhm, w-what? I-I don't know what came over me. I'm s-sorry, I guess I'm just tired. Don't mind me, yeah?' Embarrassed, he excuses himself, telling Zayn that the others might start looking for them. Zayn quickly grabbed his arm just as Liam was about to make his way towards the entrance to rejoin the others.

'C'mon Li, talk to me.' Zayn retorts still holding onto Liam's arm, lightly squeezing it to put a halt on his best friend's retreating figure.

'Okay.' Liam retiringly said keeping his voice casual although his insides are in havoc knowing fully well that Zayn will never let him hear the end of this. It's not supposed to be this way. His conversation with Zayn was not anything like this. They’re the closest in the band for fuck's sake. What's with the sudden awkwardness?

'Not here though. Is it alright if we go back to my flat? Zayn inquired.

Liam just nods and let Zayn slowly dragged him to a waiting cab just around the corner of the said club.

They were silent during the car ride. Liam was glad that Zayn choose this moment to call the boys, Harry in particular, to let them know that they're on their way back. He's not prepared for this confrontation albeit he's the one who practically ranted on Zayn a while ago. He really wanted to talk but he wanted it to happen on his terms. He wanted to be the aggressive one. Not this sheepish-wide-eyed-no-idea-of-the-whole-fucking-situation arsehole. He stammered in the midst of it seeing Zayn's mouth do a little smirk. He was distracted by the gesture and his mind just went blank. What the fuck is wrong with him? Shaking his head, Liam sunk further in his seat, if that is even possible, and closes his eyes wishing he was in another dimension.

'Li is kind of a bit under the weather', he heard Zayn calmly informing Harry on the other line. 'So I reckon that maybe I need to accompany him just to make sure he's okay.' Liam stared at Zayn as he was trying his best to keep up to an almost drunk Harry.

'No Haz. I'm alright. Just have fun, yeah? I'll make it up to you mate, I promise,' Zayn continued on while sneaking glances at the younger boy beside him attempting to get his attention. Liam knew the steady gazes Zayn has been giving him but chooses to ignore and pretend to look oblivious. Hearing Zayn being this affectionate with Harry is making his stomach do a series of cartwheels.

They finally reach the flat. Zayn fumbled in his pocket for his keys. 

(He seemed calm.)  
(And I'm having a nervous breakdown.)  
(Great.)

Liam's kind of annoyed that he's the only one feeling anxious about the situation. 

Then Zayn dropped the keys. Twice. 

(Okay.)  
(That is a good sign.)

They soon enter the flat. Zayn dropped his keys at the table and then turned to ask him if he wants something to eat or drink.

'Uhm, just water.' 

Zayn eyed him warily then left for the kitchen. Liam settled on the couch and closes his eyes. 

(Calm down Liam.)  
(But damn, he really looks so fucking good.)  
(Of course, he knew that already. Zayn is a walking sex god.)  
(Now where the hell did that come from?)  
(Stop.)  
(Oh god, no. Not now.)  
(I'm not getting a boner.)  
(This is not happening.)  
(Fuck.)

He tensed at that moment, seemed aware of a presence. When he opened his eyes, it was met by a familiar pair of hazel orbs. 

'Hi', Zayn softly said. 

'Hi.'

'How are you feeling?'

'I'm good.'

Silence. 

Li?

'Yeah?'

'Don't even attempt it. You're really horrible at lying.'

'I am not.'

'Yes you are.'

'I'm not--'

Liam felt a pair of soft lips grazing his own.


	2. Chapter 2

Liam had been watching Friends for the past 4 hours? Maybe 5? Who knows? He doesn't have an idea, doesn't care much either. He just wanted something that would distract him, something that would divert his attention from thinking about that night, that particular night he dubbed as one of the worst night of his life. Which he concludes is not working at all seeing that not a single episode had registered in his mind. 

Liam jumped from his seat at the sound of his phone ringing. He let out a groan and noticed that he's been doing quite a lot of that since this AM. He reached for his phone not really wanting to answer.

(Please don't let it be him.)  
(Not now.)

The caller ID said 'Zaynie Poo'.

(Zaynie Poo.)

Liam wheezed while shaking his head, vividly remembering Zayn's reaction when he begun calling him that nickname. Zayn's totally not amused and had almost broke Liam's phone in an attempt to change it into 'Sexy Malik' while they wrestle on the floor. Although Zayn is not much a fan of gyms, he's quite strong for his lean frame. Of course, Zayn couldn't match Liam's strength. He does have an 'amazing six-pack' after all, well according to Zayn, that is. But seeing Zayn's adorable pout after being overpowered was well worth all the bruises. Realizing he was literally smiling at the thought, he lets out a frustrated sigh.

(Sexy Malik. Damn right you are.)

Liam closed his eyes trying his might to shut down any image of Zayn that keeps popping up in his head and threw his phone on the couch, letting its tone merge with that of the telly. Technically, Zayn had been alternately texting/calling him after that ill-fated episode which he wants to bury somewhere within the confines of his mind. The rest of the lads were no better. They've been trying to contact him as well but he knew that it was for a different reason. Zayn wouldn't dare tell them what had happened, not without his consent. But he knew for a fact that putting it all off would only make his band mates a bit more eager in finding out why he had turned into a virtual recluse all of a sudden. He's just glad that none of them had thought of going to his flat. And he's even gladder that Zayn hadn't thought of it either.

Well, maybe, Zayn would quit the incessant calls he had been giving Liam since this morning if he carry on ignoring it. But he knew how stubborn Zayn could become. Yes, Zayn doesn't like to intrude. Whenever he's in one of his listless moods, Zayn would leniently sit tight until Liam's ready to speak his mind. But Zayn has this ways and means, a certain look to be exact, that really made him goes weak in the knees and tells him every little thing that he wanted to know, with no effort at all on Zayn's part. Damn him and that stupid pout of his. He really can't fucking resist it. If only he had enough self-control and a common sense to go with that, things wouldn't turn out the way it is right now.

(Fuck.)

 

~~Flashback~~

He was just sitting there, eyes closed at Zayn's flat. Mind's a bit frazzled and disoriented, thanks to a certain tanned boy who happens to be just a few meters away from where he was. He then felt like he's being watched. He opened his eyes and there sitting next to him, the object of his affection. The familiar hazel orbs that had him in a blink and with lashes so thick and so dark like that of a raven's feather. God, he really is so breathtakingly beautiful.

They were just talking. Or arguing? He can't even remember. Without a warning,   
Zayn leaned in and captured his lips without even giving Liam a chance to breathe. 

Liam's head is spinning. Zayn's kissing him. And he's kissing back. Zayn's lips tasted heaven (like he has a clue what heaven actually taste like, but that's not the point). He never tasted anything as good as this. Ever. It never crossed his mind that he would want something this intricate and yet it all seemed so right.

Liam lifts his hands to cupped Zayn's face, making the kiss deeper.

“Fuck Li, you taste so fucking good,” Zayn moaned, hands greedily moving in a sensuous slink across the expanse of his back.

Liam, suddenly feeling confident, traces his tongue along Zayn's soft, pink plums asking for access. Their lips moved together sweetly savoring the taste of each other.

Liam didn't notice until now that he was intoxicated by every little bit of Zayn. He's a goner for him and for good. He wanted this. He wanted Zayn.

(But what about Danielle. God, how would he tell her?)  
(He didn't want to hurt her. But there's no way he can look at her directly in the eye and not thinking about Zayn and how this feels so right.)  
(Dani.)  
(I'm really sorry.)

 

“Dani.”

Zayn stiffened at the mention of Danielle's name. He slowly pulled away as if he had been burned. He looked into Liam's eyes, grimace of pain evident on his face.

Though still a bit dazed, Liam managed to eyed him questioningly, not aware that he had spoken his thoughts.

“Zayn? W-what's wrong?”

“Uhm, y-you said Dani,” Zayn said in a strangled voice.

Liam felt blood rush to his cheeks.

“I-it's n-not-“

“It's okay Liam. I shouldn't have done that in the first place.”

“No, Zayn. You d-don't understand," Liam argued, but was cut off immediately by Zayn. 

“I said it's okay Li. It's not like we haven't kissed before, yeah?” Zayn retorted attempting to avert the sudden awkwardness as well as trying to keep a straight-face.

“Y-yeah. Uhm, y-you're right.” 

Liam wanted to cry and at the same time wanted to yell. In fact, he wasn't quite sure how to react, to the kiss or to Zayn's sudden show of regret. He wanted to punch Zayn for being so fucking adorable every fucking minute of every fucking day. He wanted to find a cliff and jump head first for being a stupid arsehole. Moaning his girlfriend's name while in the midst of passionately kissing his best friend is something only an idiotic person would do. And he's the biggest idiot of them all. Not to mention the fact that Zayn thought that he was thinking of Dani the entire time they were kissing. But he should be thinking of Dani, right? He's his girlfriend. He loves her. Or at least he did. They were growing apart and both him and Dani knew it. They were both seriously focused on their respective careers. And it's evident on the phone calls and text messages they send each other. They become lesser and lesser as time goes by.   
On one occasion, they even lasted two whole weeks without contacting each other. Liam thought it's just a phase every relationship has to go through. But, as days moved on, so did his feelings for Dani. The lads probably thought that all's well in their relationship. He didn't bother mentioning it, coz he thought it isn't necessary and at the same time he doesn't want to worry the boys, especially Zayn. While going through these tough times, Zayn was always at Liam's side. He always felt that him and Zayn has this special connection coz they always knew what each other's feeling is even without a word is spoken. Whether it'd be good or bad, Zayn was always there. Until Harry comes in the picture. 

“Uhm, I-I have to go. I-uh have gym tomorrow. Need to hit the sack early. So, uhm, bye.”

(You're really doing a fine job of acting like a moron Liam Payne.)

Liam wish the ground would just swallow his entire being. He completely messes up his relationship with his best friend and completely blew the chance of taking their relationship to a different level (or was he just imagining it because he swears to god that the kiss is utterly different from their accidental one).

“Yeah. Okay,” Zayn murmured, his eyes not leaving Liam's.

Liam's not sure whether to hug Zayn coz it's what they always do, or not, coz he can't get himself to fucking move.  
Feeling worn-out, Liam says goodbye by simply nodding at Zayn, then head straight to the door.

“Li.”

Liam nearly trip over his own step because the way Zayn says his name is so fucking sexual.

(Calm the fuck down.)

“Uhm, y-yeah?”

“We're good, right Li?”

“Yeah. We are.”

~~End of flashback~~

 

The sudden ring of his phone once more snaps him out from his reverie. 

(It's Louis.)

He knew that it's just a matter of time before the lads would burst into his flat unannounced and probably worried as hell so he decided he might as well get it over with and face the music. 

"Louis."

"LIAM JAMES PAYNE, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT ANSWERING YOUR BLOODY PHONE YOU LITTLE PRICK?!"

"And hello to you too Louis."

"Liam. This is not a fucking joke."

"Uhm, sorry." 

Louis remained silent. Liam knew that Louis would not stop pestering him if he continues to avoid them and beat around the bush. Although Louis has not been able to accomplish what Zayn has done in terms of cracking Liam's emotions, Louis is quite a handful. And Liam's really tired. 

"It's just, I needed some time off you know, from all of these."

Louis let out a long sigh and said, "You know damn well I'm not buying that, Payne. You know you can tell me, right?"

Liam detected a hint of hurt in Louis voice and it made him feel guilty. Knowing it's inevitable, Liam decided that it's time for him to let go. 

"Come over, yeah?" 

"Now you're making sense, Payne. I'll be there in 30 minutes."

 

➰➰➰➰➰

 

Liam is definitely avoiding him. 

(Great. Just great.)

Zayn is lying on his bed, eyes closed, but he wasn't sleeping. He was trying to recall every little detail of that particular night.   
He had kissed Liam. And Liam kissed him back. He had been dreaming of that moment for so long. So fucking long that he doesn't even remember how it all started. He had been trying so hard to suppress his emotions and thought he was doing a pretty good job on it until that 'night' happens. He's not sure where and how he got the nerves to do it and how he managed to remain calm after Liam has uttered Danielle's name. 

Yes, he is stupid. He is stupid because he thought Liam might be feeling something for him beyond the border of friendship. And he is stupid because he actually thought that the affection Liam's showing him is different than that of the lads. Talking about mixed signals. How could he misread it? Is he fucking messing with my head?

"But he kissed me back!" Zayn whined clearly frustrated. 

"Liam kissed you back?"

Zayn let out an exasperated sigh. If he isn't too fucking tired to move he would've throw the fucking alarm clock at Harry for almost giving him a heart attack. 

"Do that again Styles, I swear I'll use all the strength I have to straighten that curly locks of yours!"

Harry, finding it hard to restrain himself from laughing, walks towards the bed, sit at the edge of it and brought his hand to fondle Zayn's hair. 

"So, you and Liam kissed."

It's obviously not a question. And it only means one thing: Harry is dead serious.

"Yeah."

"Fucking finally, mate! So, what's the problem?"

"Me."


	3. Chapter 3

"Spill it Payne while I can still endure the need to hit you with a spoon."

Louis had been trying to get a decent conversation with Liam for the past hour. But the younger lad seems to be having a hard time sorting himself out. 

They were at Liam's spacious living room, Louis lay sprawled on the carpeted floor, eating his second serving of pizza while Liam on the other hand, is sitting on the couch, attention on the flat-screen telly but he's not actually watching. He's contemplating whether telling Louis the sorry plight he's in is a good idea or will make the matter even worst knowing Louis and his sometimes insane plans. But figures he doesn't really have a choice and goes for the first one (and then crossed his fingers for good measures).

Still, he doesn't want to worry Louis or any of the lads for that matter, but he really does need the companionship right now. Though, he hasn't told Louis anything just yet, he felt a load was taken off his mind from knowing that someone has got his back somehow. Of course, Niall and Harry would do the same for him. 

And Zayn. Especially Zayn. 

It is always Zayn the first to know if something's up or something's down with Liam. It will always get to be Zayn. 

And vice-versa. 

They're each other's all-time go-to-guy. And now, he's practically avoiding the privilege. 

(God, I miss him. Big time.)

"Well?" Louis asked sounding a bit more impatient.

"We, uhm, kissed," Liam hesitantly admitted, his eyes now closed and fingers soothingly rubbing his temple. 

Louis raised a curios brow. "Fucking finally! Took you so long to find your balls!" he said thrilled, his high-pitched scream echoed the room causing further distress to Liam's already aching head then nonchalantly asks, "So how was the D?" 

Liam gave Louis a smack across the face. 

"Ouch! What was that about, you prick?!"

“Stop being a twat, you, you cretin!"

"Cretin? Very ingenious Payne. Hanging out with our Zayner really has its perks."

Liam winced at the sound of Zayn's name. He didn't realize until now how he wanted to be with that boy with the raven hair and hazel eyes and tattoos so badly. 

(But he hurt him.)  
(He hurt his best friend.)  
(And now, he doesn't know how to face him.)  
(And it makes everything even worst.)  
(Way to go Liam.)  
(You deserve a good kick in the ass and a one-way trip to Narnia.)

"I did some awful things Lou," Liam confides skittishly as images of that night flashed through his mind. 

Louis reach out and gave him a pat on the knee upon noticing Liam's tensed feature. "I'm sure you didn't mean it, yeah?"

"Yeah." 

"Go on then."

"I-I sort of mentioned Dani's name."

"Okay."

"Uhm, while we're kissing."

Louis didn't reply waiting for the punch-line to come. It didn't. "Seriously? Like for real?"

Liam nods rather flustered, preparing himself for a good amount of rants coming from good o'l Louis. 

"Damn Payne." Louis says in disbelief. "This is ridiculous." 

Liam remained silent. He knew better than to cross an overly pissed off Louis. 

"Liam Payne, you better get your shit together, if not, you'll end up hurting two important people in your life."

 

➰➰➰➰➰

 

"Come again?" Harry asked looking at Zayn, brows slightly creased, like he's gone mental. He knew about his best friend's ridiculous attraction to Liam and everything and anything that concerns Liam. He actually finds it to be sickeningly adorable. However, he can't say the same about Liam though. Yes, there's no question about the mutual admiration. But Liam is either just too reserved for his liking or he was just good at suppressing his emotions. 

"I'm Liam's fucking problem," Zayn blurts out, who is now sitting upright leaning onto the headboard just like Harry is, arms crossed. 

"I still don't get it, mate," Harry says shaking his head. "You said you and Liam kissed. Isn't it a good thing? I know you haven't told me point-blank, but I feel it Zayn. I feel you. You're mooning like a lovesick puppy when you're with him."

Zayn sighed, shrugging frustrated, looking at Harry, and knowing that arguing with him is futile. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I was planning on telling you but didn't know when or how to go on about it."

Harry doesn't say anything so Zayn continues, "I tried to repress it, you've no idea how much I fucking tried, Haz. But as always, I can't seem to resist that fucking charm of his." He was playing with the hem of his shirt distractedly. 

"But have you at least tried to talk to him, you know, how you feel about him?" 

"Harry, I don't even know how to fucking tell you."

"That's 'cause you didn't even try. You can, and you know it." He shot a sideway glance at the tanned boy. 

"I know. I'm sorry Haz. Really. For not telling you. Didn't want to worry you, I guess." He sounded tired and a little hoarse, must be because he hardly had enough sleep after that fateful night. 

"Of course, I'd worry about you. What do you expect me to feel, you twat?" 

"You're such a worrywart. You tend to fuss over small things."

"Just 'cause I really am worried!"

"You worry too much. That's why I don't tell you."

"Then stop doing things that make me worry!" 

"How would I know if it worries you?"

"Zayn!"

"Okay fine. I will!"

"You better Malik," Harry said, giving him a warning glance. "So, care to explain?"

Zayn bit his lower lip unaware he's even doing it, a sign that he is nervous like a cat on a hot tin roof. "I mess it up Haz. I kissed him and I shouldn't," he says in a low voice. "I've caused him his deepest regret because he's too nice for his own good."

Harry drapes an arm around Zayn's shoulder pulling him closer so that Zayn's head is resting on his chest. "Tell me what happened."

Zayn begins to play with the string of Harry's hoodie, said under his breath, "H-he said Danielle's name. While we were kissing."

"Oh baby." Harry tightened his grip on the slightly older lad's lean frame wishing at least that this simple act would ease his frustrations somewhat. Zayn nuzzled to the comfort and Harry was glad that he opts for this day to swing by at Zayn's flat to hang out. 

"It hurts Haz. So fucking much. H-he only kissed me back just so I won't get to feel rejected. That's just the way Liam is. It doesn't matter if he's the one enduring the burden," Zayn said grief-stricken.

"How do you know how he feels?"

"I just knew."

Harry raised an eyebrow clearly stating his skepticism. 

"Harry, I'm his fucking best friend. Of course, I knew."

Harry wanted to say something but decided against it. Telling something like possible mutual affection would only cause the raven-haired boy to feel guiltier than he was right now. Zayn thought that Liam's in a lot of pressure because of the said incident and the reason Liam felt the need to kiss him back was for Zayn to not feel embarrassed by his actions and therefore there won't be any awkwardness between them. If this was truly the case, Harry thinks that Liam's action have somewhat backfired at Liam himself. 

Harry look down at the boy curled up comfortably against him. Seeing Zayn look this vulnerable makes Harry wants to take him away to some faraway place where they could just be their fucking selves. But he knew that it's beyond the bounds of possibility. Harry run his hands affectionately up and down Zayn's arm gently squeezing it in between, the gesture simply assuring Zayn that Harry will always be there for him. 

"I just officially ruined our friendship Haz. I fucking ruined it all because I'm a selfish arsehole."

"No it's not," Harry argued shaking his head. "You didn't ask for it. You fell in love. There's no way you can control it even if you try. Nobody can." 

Zayn wanted to presume Harry's words to be true. But his logical reasoning thought otherwise. 

Zayn is convinced that everything will be different from now on between him and Liam. How he wishes that he could turn back time and rethink his decisions. He let his mind be completely bullied by his heart. He tried so hard to restrain his feelings, really tried to hush up his emotions, but was a failure in doing so as well. He didn't even think of the repercussions his damn stupidity and self-centered frame of mind will cause. He doesn't want to lose his best friend. But seeing the way things are right now, it seem as though he already did. But no. He won't allow it. He doesn't want Liam to lose his best friend because of some dumb decisions Zayn did. He knew Liam is having a really hard time as of this moment thinking of ways to fix things up, thinking of how he would deal with Zayn without hurting his feelings. Liam doesn't deserve this. But how will he straighten out this mess he made? Liam doesn't even want to talk to him on the phone. He's willing to do anything, even forgetting about his stupid feelings just so Liam wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Yes, he will do just that. 

"Zayn, babe, you okay?" Harry asked, a worry expression on his face. 

Zayn smiled at him, though the look of sadness is still evident on his face, releasing himself from Harry's tight clutch. "I'm good. You really worry too much Haz."

Harry pouts and pulls Zayn for a head-lock. "Just 'cause I love you, you silly twat!" 

"Get off me Harreh!" 

"Say the magic word Malik."

"Ouch! That hurts you pr-" Zayn wasn't able to finish what he's saying because Harry has him press down on the bed lying on his stomach, arms at the back. 

"Say it babe."

"Fuck you!"

"I'm not letting you go Malik."

"Okay! Okay! Harry fucking Styles is my fucking kryptonite! There. Happy now?"

Harry was laughing so hard as he set Zayn free from his grapple. He got out of the unmade bed and stands just a few meters across from it readying himself for a tackle. 

"You're going down Styles!"

"Empty threats don't scare me Malik."

Zayn just smirks and walks his way towards him. Harry remained glued standing he's eyes never leaving Zayn. Now facing each other, Zayn lift his arms and enveloped Harry to a tight embrace. 

"Thank you Haz."

 

➰➰➰➰➰

 

They're at Harry and Louis' flat again. Neither of them didn't feel like going out. They were exhausted from the long-drawn-out interviews and numerous invites from different shows the past days. So they've decided to just crash their mate's flat since it's the nearest to the studio where they've been all day doing some final touch-ups for their forthcoming album. After quite a few ideas, they settle for a night of movie marathon and some booze on the side. 

They were now plopped comfortably on the couch. As expected, Zayn and Harry were seated beside each other. Liam sat next to Louis while Niall's in the middle, sandwiched by Liam and Zayn. They were watching The Hunger Games. 

Liam can't resist shooting a side-glance at Zayn who's now leaning cozily onto Harry, drinking his beer. He noticed in the same way that Harry's right arm is tightly wrap around Zayn's neck holding Zayn in place. Liam felt a sharp pang of jealousy seeing them that close and intimate. The sight is too much for him to handle. He tried to focus his attention on the movie but is sort of distracted by a soft giggle coming from who else, his gorgeous fuck of a best friend. Liam close his eyes to gather his thoughts and compose himself. 

(That should be me cuddling with him.)  
(I'm his fucking best friend.)

Liam felt someone's rubbing the back of his neck. He opened his eyes and saw Louis giving him a sympathetic look. He gave him a thumbs up sign and revert his attention on the movie. 

"I'll go grab some more drinks," Zayn said detaching himself from Harry. 

"Want me to come with you?" Harry asked. 

"Nah."

 

Zayn was more than glad to find a way to wriggle out from such a tense atmosphere. He was so embarrassed, he couldn't even give Liam a quick look. He really missed him. He really missed his Liam. How the hell would he approach him?

Just then, a pair of very familiar arms wrapped around his waist and his cheeks heated up as a pair of warm lips brushed his neck.

"Li?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, it took me so long to update this. got stuck with work. thank you for taking the time to read this. <3

Zayn closed his eyes as he inhaled the very familiar scent of the boy whom he'd missed so badly. Though it had only been just three days, it felt like weeks had gone by. 

"Need some help?" Liam said under his breath as he snuggled his face even closer at the nape of Zayn's neck, licking it slightly, arm's firmly wrapped around Zayn's waist. 

Zayn can only reply with a near groan 'Yeah?' as every senses of his being went into overdrive consequent to hearing Liam's husky voice and feeling that damn slick tongue on his skin. Suddenly feeling bolder seeing Liam's playful mood, he cover Liam's hands with his, giving it a gentle squeeze, then leisurely disentangling them from him. Liam presumed Zayn's going to walk away so he held on tightly, murmuring a very distraught 'No' in Zayn’s ear. Zayn can't help but smile at the younger boy's response. He turn his head slightly enough to catch Liam's brown orbs then without much thinking, planted a soft peck on the side of Liam's lips. 

That gesture per se sends shiver to Liam's spine. Liam spun him around so that they're facing each other, his eyes narrowing, and never leaving Zayn's hazel ones. His arms were still comfortably on the tanned boy's waist rubbing it up and down. He really doesn't care if one of the lads would walk in on them in that rather intimate display of emotion. Hell, he would certainly be pleased as punch if that would be the case. He didn't know how he come to this point where he's possessive of Zayn's attention coz last time he check, it doesn't bother him, like, at all if Zayn's getting a little too comfy for his liking with the lads. The cuddle scene with Harry a while ago, for all the intents and purposes, brought the terrible side of him. He doesn't think that he can handle yet another one of that in the near future. But he realized he can't keep it from happening knowing that personal space doesn't exist in their vocabulary. He shook his head trying to waive the pang that's dawning whenever an image of his best friend cuddling with someone who's not him pops up in his head and instead focus on the current rift their friendship is going through. He let out a heavy sigh thinking of something rational to say but stop in the midst, somewhat afraid that doing so might break the moment they're having this point in time and for his part, he'd so longed for. He shudders at the thought. He doesn't want to face another Zayn-less day. And he's determined not to let it transpire again. He needs to fix this mess. 

Liam circled his arms around Zayn's waist, entwining his fingers so he and Zayn are pressed even closer. He tucked his head on the crook of the tanned boy's neck and lazily hummed, "Miss you Zed.” 

Zayn chuckled adoringly at the boy who's blithely draped onto him. "Yeah?" Zayn mumbled into Liam's ear then tenderly placing a kiss into Liam's buzz cut hair and then patting it quite fondly.

"Yeah."

"Yeah? How much?" Zayn playfully asked. 

Liam lifted his head and stared at him intently. "This much." 

Then their lips were touching. It started out as soft teasing pecks at Zayn's nose then onto his cheek, and then trailed on the side of Zayn's lips, warm and soft. 

"Li," Zayn moaned, cupping Liam's face bringing their lips together. Liam huffed as Zayn deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue boldly into Liam's mouth, nibbling then sucking Liam's lower lip. They were so into it that they hardly notice the jarring sound that's drowning the entire room. 

Suddenly there was a soft tap on Liam's shoulder. 

The two lads were thrown off guard by the blunt intrusion and quickly let go of each other (but they did not let go entirely as their hands were complacently interlace with of one another). Liam was blushing so hard but the look of satisfaction was distinct on his face. 

 

"Uhm, hey Li, mate," Louis begins in a matter-of-fact voice. "I don't want to sound like I'm a fuddy-duddy but IF YOU DON'T ANSWER THAT BLOODY PHONE LIKE RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR, I'LL TELL ZAYN HOW YOU KEEP ON CALLING HIM YESTERDAY AND HOW YOU DON'T ANSWER IT, AND THAT YOU’RE JUST LISTENING TO HIS VOICE, AND THEN HANG UP LIKE A DUMB FUCK. There." He finished babbling, still a bit rattled, trying to ignore the image of the steamy make-out he had walk in just now. 

Liam's reaction was one for the books. He's torn between dragging Louis outside and kills him with his bare hands or dragging himself outside and looks for a cliff to jump in. He shook his head trying to keep his mouth shut so as not say words that he might regret saying later and decides to reach for his phone. It registered 8 missed calls. All from Danielle. Fuck.

 

\-----

Zayn felt like cold water has been splashed all over him as he accidentally sneaks a peek into Liam's phone. Oh. Yeah. Danielle. He forgot that part again in Liam's life. He’s really a fucking idiot, he mutters to himself while shaking his head. Being an idiot whenever Liam's concerned is almost as natural as his love for singing. Whenever he sings, all his emotions, whether good or bad, were bottled up in every song, that sometimes he can't help tearing up. It's the same thing with Liam, sort of. He knew that having feelings for an already-taken best friend will only bring him endless heartaches. Yes, he knew Liam loved him to death. But it isn't the way Zayn wanted it to be. And Zayn can't do anything about it. He knew it would always be like this. But he always finds himself holding on, hoping, wanting something he always knew he couldn't have. He's got him hook, line and sinker. Now feeling like a klutz, he clears his throat then says in a worn-out voice, "Uhm, I'll go bring this to the lads." He quickly gathers the drinks, crisps and whatever his hands can snatch; nods at Louis then head straight for the door. He deliberately evaded Liam's eyes coz he's afraid of what it might show him. He will deal with this later. But right now, he just wants to get the fuck out. 

 

\-----

Liam's thunderstruck to say the least. He doesn't have the urge to even move, still shell-shocked by the turn of events. He wants to go after Zayn but realized that it won’t change anything unless he made a decision at this instant. He glanced again at his phone thinking of how he would resolve this without hurting anyone. Without hurting her. Without hurting him. ‘Too late though’, he thought sarcastically. He had already hurt them.

"Li," Louis said, breaking Liam's silence. 

Liam was pulled out of his thoughts and jerks his head up, totally forgetting Louis' presence. He ducked his head then starts walking towards the living room, avoiding Louis' likely ramblings. He's in no mood for that to be honest. And he already knew what he's going to say anyway. 

"Liam fucking Payne. You know damn well that that little stunt of yours will not work on me, yeah?"

Liam halted heads down, letting out a resigned sigh. He turns to Louis; the older boy’s eyes were a look of pure understanding. 

"Don't shut me out Li."

And that's when he let go of the tears that he tried so hard to suppress. 

Louis spread his arms wide open signaling the sandy haired boy, "C'mere, you little fucker." 

\-----

Zayn drops the snacks onto Niall's lap and quickly strides for the door out. "I'll just go grab a smoke," he says to whoever hears him.  
“You okay, mate?” Niall calls out as Zayn is already at the door. Zayn gives him a thumb up sign instead of answering the blonde boy while deliberately ignoring Harry’s inquiring look. He didn’t know how Harry does it but that green eyes can positively read just about any of Zayn’s moods. He knew very well it's only a matter of time before Harry will try to coax Zayn into telling him about his mood change just now.

As soon as Zayn step outside, he reaches for his pack of fag and lit one. The taste of the tobacco eventually calms him down. He's really fucked up, he thought bitterly.

"Don’t worry Zed,” Harry said comfortingly snaking an arm on Zayn’s shoulder. “Everything will be okay. You’ll see.” Harry is certain that something not good has happened seeing Zayn’s dejected look a while back. Although Zayn tries so hard to conceal his emotions, Harry’s profound observation has him decipher quite easily every mood swings of the tanned boy.

“And how would you know that?”

“I just know.”

Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Don’t give me that Malik.”

Zayn pouted at him. “And that, too,” Harry said fondly.

They were just standing there, arms around each other, never needing to say anything. Harry’s words a while ago still echoes in Zayn’s mind. He truly and sincerely hopes that everything will fall into place.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this sucks.

When Harry catch sight of how Zayn's struggling to turn from meeting his eyes and seemed anxious to flee from the room, he knew something was wide of the mark. As Zayn is the kind of guy who won't bare his soul hands down unless obliged to do so. He prefers to sing the blues on his own. He doesn't want to be a bother (he says this like a mantra). It's ridiculous, really. But Zayn's been unsuccessful in doing that so far. He quickly learned and accepted the fact that he can never bear the brunt alone when he's in a band called One Direction. And Harry for that matter doesn't give him that 'privilege' anyway. Being in close proximity with Zayn everyday basically has its perks; or so Harry thinks. Well, he gets to know the real Zayn up close and personal (just like Liam had). Whereas a lot would not notice if something's troubling the fuck out of Zayn, Harry can now easily tell just by looking at those hazel orbs. It's not as easy as what everybody think, deciphering Zayn's mood, that is. But he's sort of proud that he's one of them that can (the other is Liam, of course). 

When Liam excused himself claiming that he needed to get something from the kitchen, apparently, he just wants to talk to Zayn. And of course, Harry's okay with that. It's about time, to be honest. He hates seeing them being in an awkward situation coz he's used to seeing them together and the edgy atmosphere is painfully maddening. When they haven't reappeared from the kitchen, Harry (and Louis) had assumed that things were looking up (well, no one is walking out thus yet, so it seems like a good sign). Only the persistent buzzing of Liam's phone has opted Louis to checkup on the two chaps. It’s quite odd indeed, coz the tone is earsplitting and it's annoying the fuck out of them while Zayn and Liam are both oblivious of it. ‘So far so good’, Harry murmurs to himself. Even though Harry is hoping for the best, he can't help but think of some not-so-good scenarios in mind. It's either they sort this rift out or they would fuck it even more. But knowing how idiotic those two can be when around each other, the second one might just be a possibility. Harry shook his head and grimaced at his own thought. Just as he was about to get up from the couch and drag Louis out from where he's not supposed to in the first place (coz Louis' taking too long and it's rude when you're intruding even if you mean well), Zayn bursts out looking rather withdrawn and deflated.

Harry and Niall just stared at the tanned boy both unable to utter a word.

"Uhm, you should go after him," Niall says as soon as Zayn steps out of the room after dropping off the snacks onto Niall's lap. "I'll follow suit."

Well, Niall knows as well, apropos Zayn's ability to shut himself out from everyone when he's having one of those days. Liam's the only one who can crack their oh-so-stubborn-yet-stunningly-adorable friend. And he's more than relieved that Harry is able to slip in as well especially now that Zayn and Liam were in a bit of a fix. 

Harry nodded at Niall silently thanking him for being the compassionate one as always. He sprung out in a haste and head straight for the door. 

When he got there, Zayn was clearly contemplating. He looks so frail. And so sad. And heartbroken. And it never fails to break Harry too every time he sees Zayn like this. It's time for him to put his two cents down. Coz he can't afford to watch his two best friends make a fool of themselves anymore.

He clears his throat just so Zayn would know he's there. "Zed," Harry calls out. Zayn remained in his slouch position, doesn't even budge. Harry begins to pace towards him. "Hey there," he drawls softly. "Don't worry, yeah? It'll going to turn out fine. You'll see." He loops an arm around Zayn's shoulder as he comes near him.

"Yeah?" He looked at Harry with a sullen expression. 

"Yeah." Harry says ignoring Zayn's 

"How would you know that?"

"I just know."

"No, you don't Styles."

"You don't know that Malik."

"You're a twat."

"And you're a prat. We match babe."

They were in the middle of a friendly banter when Niall turns up. "Hazza's right Zayn-" 

"About me being a twat?" He was looking at Niall with a creased brow. 

"No, you plonker. Well, yeah, that seems pretty legit." Niall counters trying hard not to laugh. Zayn's about to give him a piece of his mind but Niall shushed him at once, motions him to just listen. "What I'm trying to say is that, it will all be fine. He'll come around. If he doesn’t, it will still be fine. We’ll be here. Just - just don’t shut us out, okay?" Niall says putting an arm as well onto Zayn. 

Zayn eyed Niall warily. He reckons Niall's talking about something else, right? He turns to Harry, brows furrow, silently grilling him if Niall knows somewhat. Harry can only shrugs. He glances at Niall once more. 

"Don't give me that look you prick," Niall says seeing the puzzled expression on the tanned boy's face. "I may not usually say a thing or two, but I knew. You're not actually subtle, mate."

"Yeah?" Zayn’s tone is more amused than offended.

Both Harry and Niall nod at him. 

Zayn let out a frustrated sigh. "Sod off."

"Not a chance babe." Harry says warmly. 

"I hate you both." 

"Aww Zaynie Poo, but we love you!"

 

\-----

By the time they returned to the living room, Louis and Liam were already there. Louis was at the farthest side of the couch, legs' been stretched out in a lazy manner, giggling at something funny from his phone. While Liam on the other hand, was at the opposite end, on his phone as well. The film they've been watching has been paused. 

"Haz! Hazza! Come read this!" An enthusiastic Louis says upon seeing Harry. The curly lad dashes onto Louis' side; snatches the phone off the older boy and chortles at the images. 

Niall situated himself comfortably besides Harry. He then un-paused the movie; and start polishing off the snacks that are in front of him.

That leaves Zayn the space between Niall and Liam to plop down. 

Zayn's inclined to think that the lads, notably Harry and Niall, were just messing up with him. But seeing them too absorbed in their own fucking world, downright ignoring him, makes Zayn consider that perhaps some invisible force wants to torture the fuck out of him.   
(Great.)   
And Liam looks as if not bothered at all. Well, he's too busy texting (he's guessing Danielle, who else) to really pay much attention.   
(Just great.)   
Since he doesn't want to be dubbed as the wet blanket and realizing that there's really no way out of this, he starts strolling towards the couch filling the gap flanked by Niall and Liam. He felt Liam inch a bit so that Zayn can fit in just fine. Being this close with Liam has Zayn thought of their ‘moment’ a while ago. Good thing everyone is minding their business coz Zayn is blushing awfully much.

“Uhm, would it be alright if I will take a rain check on our movie night?” Liam timidly asks.

“No.” Harry retorts ignoring Louis' dagger looks. 

“Oh. Yeah. Okay.” 

“He’s kidding Li.” Louis immediately cut off. “Yes, of course, you can.”

Liam was so much grateful that the lads didn't ask him why, although he can't quite bring his eyes in Harry's direction, and much more to Zayn's. 

“Are you coming back?" Niall inquires; eyes however, glued on the movie.

"I don't really know." Liam responds.

"Well, off you go then." Louis pronounces. 

"Uh, thanks." 

"Nah, just come back, if you can." Louis says.

\-----

It's midnight. And Zayn can't fucking sleep. All he does is toss and turn on his fucking bed, figures sleep probably won't come soon, so he ends up turning the telly on in the living room watching a rerun of a show both him and Liam are quite fond of. Damn. He scowls when he suddenly realized that the person he's trying hard to dismiss from his mind can just easily breeze through his thoughts without much sweat.  
(What am I going to do?)  
(You're a hard habit to break, Li.)

He should really start fixing himself and get on with life. Coz he will never have a chance with Liam. Not in a million years. He will always be just his best friend and nothing more. Their feelings might be mutual, but he will always choose Danielle. But can he do it? The sandy-haired boy has practically bunked in his mind since, like, the first time he set eyes on him.   
(Sure, he can forget about Liam.)  
(Yeah.)  
(Maybe when hell freezes over.)   
(Whatever.)

When Liam left them at Louis and Harry's flat, three pair of eyes was regarding him thoughtfully. But no one emit a word. Instead, they all hold him closely to their arms, as if never want to let go. 

They all insist to keep him company. But he begged off. However, the lads won't let him have his way. They've had enough of his solitary confinement. They reasoned with him for a good amount of time but they eventually give in on his request when he promised to text and call them more often than necessary. If only he can take back their offer of a sleepover, he would definitely seize it seeing his condition now. Frustrated, he let out a heavy sigh.

(Damn him and his dogmatic principles.)

\-----

Liam became a bundle of nerves just as he arrives outside of Zayn's flat. He had been standing right there for thirty solid minutes and can't pull himself to knock on the door. He's having second thoughts whether a midnight talk is a good idea or not. But he really can't put this off to any further extent. It's now or never. His only drawback is that when Zayn's asleep, he's out like a log. 

The talk with Louis a while back along with the concerned expressions of Harry and Niall have made him realized a lot of things. But what really hit him the most was the realization that this will either make or break his and Zayn's relationship. He's risking a lot. A whole lot.

Louis told him that he can't just pull a stunt like that coz best friend doesn’t generally kiss each other lustfully. And if he doesn't get his shit together the soonest possible time, his relationship with Zayn will suffer the consequence, although it's already heading on that direction with the way things are now. Another thing is that the band were sort of, compel to take sides, well, sympathy-wise, that is, which is unfair to all of them since they vow to bear with each other whatever come to pass.   
(Damn.)  
(Okay, this is very well it.)  
(Please don't give up on me Zed.)

 

\-----

Zayn doesn't know if he's just imagining it or there's really someone knocking at his door in this ungodly hour. Maybe the lack of sleep is finally getting into him.   
(There it goes again.)  
(Someone's really knocking.)  
(Must be Harry.)  
He's sure of it. Coz Harry's been checking up on him non-stop since he left their flat. Still insisting that he really should spend the night with them or Harry can come over. And since Zayn's been giving him the same answer, Harry, being the natural worry wart that he is, apparently opts to come over in the middle of the night just to ask him the same question he's been texting him over and over again. A smile is slowly forming on his lips and his eyes squinted with happiness. He quickly strides for the door and heartily unlocks it. 

He stiffened at the sight. 

"Li." His voice is barely even audible. 

"H-hi," Liam stammers nervously. "Uhm, can we talk?" He was standing uncomfortably with both his hands in his back pocket. 

"Uh, now?" Zayn managed to ask, completely appalled by Liam's unexpected appearance. On his fucking doorstep. At this fucking hour. Liam being here is the last thing that ever comes to his mind and the least he expects to happen.  
(Fuck.)  
(He’s here.)  
(He’s really fucking here.)

"Uhm, y-yeah?" When Zayn hadn't given him any response and hadn't even move, he quickly adds, "B-but I can come back later. Sorry. I know I'm an idiot for even coming here not considering the time. It’s just, I have so many things to tell you, and I can’t wait to tell you about it-"

"Li-"

"I know this isn’t the right time to discuss these things, but please hear me out Zee-"

“Liam, it’s ok-"

“I don’t know what I’d do if you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore. But I’ll fix this, yeah? Just bear with me, Zee-“

“Liam!”

“Y-yeah?”

“God, Liam, can you shut up for a minute? My head hurts coz of your blabbering.”

“Oh. Yeah. Okay. I’ll-I’ll just come back later. It’s okay Zee. I know you’re not up for a talk at this bloody time. I’ll go ahead-“

Zayn rolled his eyes, grab Liam's wrist and drags him inside.


End file.
